loveology: March 2009

29.3.09

breath life

a show. april 24th. please go.

I also made this poster.. I'm kinda proud of it. :)

It's the first one I've had in a while! I am excited but I really need to re write some songs and fix up some others. i also need new lyrics. i should have so much to write about but I hate writing about negative things and I hate writing about specific men in my life. the songs never make it if they're about that ha. that's why I need to re write, maybe then the song will work. its like a curse haha. its okay though, i shouldn't ever write songs about boys, nobody likes those songs forever, unless they're about husbands or wives and I will not have a husband for quite a while!!

I am really stuck with where i should go. I have been getting many opportunities with photography. I feel like God could be point me that way, but then why gift me with a love for art? I know that's in my calling somewhere, it's been there since I was really little. I am thinking graphic design. I want to go to school for that, and photography. So much money but so much to learn and use. I think I could do it. If its where God wants e to go then OBVIOUSLY I can do it. I wouldn't doubt him for a second. He knows the plans he has for me and they're good ones.

I am so blessed. SO SO blessed. I am glad I have God to protect me. Otherwise I would never be where I am. He helps me worry less, which is a good thing because nothing comes out of worrying. I lack motivation when I worry and without motivation I achieve nothing.

I am really mad right now! But also really motivated. Motivated to not fuck up my life and to stand up and realise that I am a good person and will do great things. No one has any right to say otherwise. Don't ever let people tell you you aren't good enough, you don't deserve it.

You are worth more then gold. More then all the money, fame, and success this world so greatly longs for. These things are all prizes and possessions but you,
you breath life.

26.3.09

we rule x 2

Pet Watching Live - 021, originally uploaded by MTV Live.

http://www.mtv.ca/mtv-live/home.jhtml

25.3.09

We're total nerds

http://www.mtv.ca/mtv-live/fullpost.jhtml?id=324

legit.

-jack

24.3.09

Milk Chocolate

Some promos:
www.myspace.com/milkkchocolatee

starving artist

i sold another painting. making it possible to pay rent without having a job. I am technically making a living of art and photography now haha. It's kind of exciting to know that I can actually support myself with it... not that one month of rent is supporting myself.

still, its exciting.

I've been learning so much this past month. I feel like everything I am doing is improving. I also keep getting awesome opportunities to learn more. I have taken more photos in the past 2 months then I have in a long time. I feel free in someways but in other ways there are things that are holding me in my place but maybe that's a good thing. You don't learn when you rush through things. I tend to rush things, i always want whats next. Its how I work i guess.

Against Grey | March 21| The Venue

Here is a few photos from the 21st. Against Grey. I'll post more later probably.
I made a super gay watermark. I decided that my photos don't come free unless you're going to have my name on it. I've had people crop it out and it sucks. I am proud of my work so when someone denies me of my recognition it sucks. Its kinda rude actually. It'd be like someone giving you a painting for your house and taking some paint and painting over their signature.

18.3.09

photog blog

me and josh made a soft box. its sooooooo ghetto but fun to mess around with. all it is, is a pillow case, some garden thing a flash and a 13 dollar radio slave. P.I.M.P!!

i really just want to go out and take some photos. i keep passing by places that look like awesome spots to take pictures. the landscape is harassing me with its beauty. anyways, here is a few more from yesterday.

16.3.09

french butterflies

I had an interview at Mariposa today and it went really good. I am hoping and praying I get the job. Its actually not a half bad store. The one in Maple Ridge was still living in the early 90's and was so full of crap but this one had some sweet stuff.

Anyways, the girl who did the interview said she really liked me and actually gave me a trial run out on the floor, something she supposedly doesn't always do unless she see some promise there. So I am stoked. I would love to work again. I NEED to work again but would also quite enjoy it. Its been too long and I realised that today trying to help customers again.. was weird!

Anyways, pray that I get it. Or that west 49 hires me for their key holder position, cause that would harsh rule and hopefully pay more.

le fin.
-jacqueline

12.3.09

pay my rent

buy some art.
let me take your photo for a reasonable price.
spare change?

I dont want to move back home. At least my mom buys me groceries. I am resorting to applying for jobs like Tim Hortons.
fuck this shit I hate brown pants.

MARS' HILL
Trinity Western University newspaper
my photos! first time ever printed.

11.3.09

Breeze

Lights + warm breeze through window + sunny day + peace + friendship = LOVE

stand.

i will fight for you.

I think we forget that when we are in trouble, God gives us friends. But when they dont come we still have him. Lately it seems like so many people are talking to me about having no one in their life around who can help them. I hate when people say that. Sometimes we just have to try harder to talk to them. God does not leave us alone EVER. To think we are alone is such a slap in the face to him. Its like if a friend of yours was having a bad day and you were right there comforting them and hugging them and they stated that they felt like they had no one and that they were all alone and completly ignored your effort. We act like God is just this big guy in the sky but he has feelings too. Stronger feelings then any of us ever will have for eachother. His love is so great that his hurt is so great too. How could we do this to someone who loves us that much? That takes such a chance on us. That loves us even though we may hurt him in the end? I dont understand us at all.

Drew Mckay 2008

10.3.09

a good source of irony

dirty bands make me want to tour. the sight of an unshowered gross natural dreaded man on stage makes me want to tour.

....the only thing I would hate about touring is not being able to shower.

In other news spencer chamberlain from Underoath has the grosses hair I have ever seen. Its sweet.

unknown. 2008.

8.3.09

dental

I had a dream last night that my back teeth were falling out. I was freaked.. except then all I could think was, "sweet I wont have to get my wisdom tooth out now."

I also dreamt I went to church with an old boyfriend from way back and saw my new lad there and someone walked passed him and he disappeared once they had passed by.

6.3.09

foto

Against Grey 03.05.09
Trinity Western University
Battle of the Bands.

5.3.09

loss

i do all the wrong things at all the wrong times. i cant do anything right.

4.3.09

control

i would like my life back please.

why in bad situations do we always want to have total control. chances are we're in that situation because of something we have done so I'd say the last person who needs to have control is ourselves. its like even though we have been told a million times over that the situation should be given to God we don't, like we think we can do it better.

it's time for me to act like you're not even there. you say don't want me anyways, so I will just pretend that you're not.

God can do a much better job at living our lives. Its like a weird gift. He gives us life and in return hopes we would give it back to him. Kinda like when a man buys a huge TV for his wife so he can watch sports... except God doesn't want to watch sports while we sit there missing our home makeover shows. He'd rather sit down and watch a movie with us and spend time together.

I have people in my life who I wish would realise they have no control over it. That God is the one in control...and you don't want to mess with him. He has blessed me so much these past months and I am so happy and feel so free. The opportunities that have arose are amazing and even though there are set backs, God comes through and tells me to keep going. I'm starting to realise what I am supposed to do and I hope that what I do will bless people and show people that God gives life to those who let them. We can do things on our own but its like climbing up a cliff when there is a plane to take us to the top.